This will all catch up on me.

October 19, 2007 at 10:55 pm 1 comment

ljds.jpgLike, in my SAT scores. I always think of that quote from The Perfect Score (which you’ve definitely never seen, since you’re waaay cooler than me). It was something like:

“You know who scores best on the SAT? …Asian girls that watch less than an hour of television per week.”

I’ve been watching too much television. Way too much. I religiously watch The Office, Desperate Housewives, The Bachelor, America’s Next Top Model and Gossip Girl. That’s six hours of my week that I’ll never get back!

But the thing is, it’s worth it to me! I thoroughly enjoy each of these shows. Which is totally fucked up.

I’m giving you the opportunity to (one day) say “HA!” when I am a 200 lb. college dropout.

When you’re over 200lbs, you get this skin that you can’t get rid of without surgery. Therefore you will never look good in a bikini. EVER. You’ll be saying, “I can’t go to the beach lookin’ like MO’nique! Why do I still have this nasty pooch when I’ve been doing NutriSystem for a year?”

Because you used to be a fatty!

So heed my warning and stop watching tv and eating potato chips, which are gross anyway. Stop eating steak too. (I LOVE steak.)

If everyone read my blog, I could cure obesity.

See? HELL YEAH!

bikini.jpg

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. victor  |  October 20, 2007 at 1:31 am

    Please tell me your SAT score. I’m dying to know, I seriously am.

    Totally.

    Reply

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Why can't they say what they want?

Why can't they just say what they mean?

Come clean, listen and talk.

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